How to get your message across
If you grew up in the West, and you often read blogs and Google “how to” strategies, you probably don’t need new information. You actually need some advice to apply what you already know. We can Google anything; but turning that information into actions, is a different ball-game.
So, we’ve torn out an action-page from our workshops, and posted it up here. Do yourself a favour: Actually TRY these three pointers, and share your experiences with me.
Blogs are for the reading, but life is for the living!
In your next conversation with a friend, listen intently to everything they say. When u feel the urge to interrupt, or have something that you want to respond with, do one of the following:
- Say : “So are you saying..” And repeat what they said , in your own words, as a question.
- Say “it sounds like..” And then share with them what emotion you picked up from their conversation. (Eg. “It sounds like that trip really made you irritated.?”)
- Repeat their words. Literally, just repeat their own words to them : “so that girl was really fat, hey?” Or “So, your boss was so unfair to you.”
- Keep quiet for at least 5 seconds, while nodding your head thoughtfully. If they ask why you’re so quiet, tell them that you’re just thinking about what they said, and keep quiet for longer. Chances are, they’ll fill the silence, or you could use one of the other tricks below.
Listen on levels
During your next conversation, try to memorize what the person spoke about, by writing it down afterwords.
When you write it down, write three levels:
- What was the content of what they said.
- Which emotive words did they use?
- What did their tone of voice say about their attitude?
- What did their body-language say about their attitude?
Chances are, that you would struggle to answer some of these questions. Next time, try to pay more attention to that aspect.
Frame your conversation
Before your next meeting, write a framework with the following headings:
- In no more than 2 sentences, what do you want to communicate?
- What do you hope to get from the other person(s) in this meeting?
- What do you not want the other person to do / say?
- What is the tone of the conversation?
At the start of your meeting, read these pointers to the person / group you intend to meet with, to help frame their expectations, set the direction and form a stable point-of-reference to keep the conversation on track. When someone veers off course, go back to these pointers, and ask them if they will be able to reframe their points within these parameters.
Ref: ‘The Like Switch’ by Jack Schafer.
Do you need extra support?
We hope these help you seal your next deal, or – at least – get you through the next awkward networking event. If you feel like you could benefit from additional support, schedule a FREE discovery call to learn more about how I can help.